I can’t believe it’s been over 2 years..

I’m missing blogging or at least having and outlet to vent and write my thoughts.  I am going to try and blog more often again. 

something you’re excited about…

I am excited about a few things.

The first being our trip to Santa Barbara next week for my cousins wedding. It will be nice to get away from the same ol’ things we always do.

I am also excited about Camping at the end of July because it was so fun last time.

Lastly, I am excited I got into my program at Cypress. I was really scared that I wouldn’t get in after seeing how many people apply for 30 spots. I feel super happy that I will be working towards a career and keeping myself busy. 🙂

My Favorite animal..

I love Penguins! How could you not? Look how freaking cute they are. I want a baby pet penguin.

A picture of someone you are told you look like

Lacey Schwimmer from Dancing with the Stars.. All the time.

A Picture of something you can’t fuction without.

                              I will agree with Mel.. Without softball I wouldn’t be as happy. It brings so much joy to my life. The people and just getting to play something I love so much ❤

A picture of the people you spend the most time with..

stepping up to the plate..

Everyday I go to work with the kids it scares me a little more. Scares me because I am saying things my Mom said to me.. or doing things I never though I’d do. I can feel my body changing, I am sore easier, I am not as flexible as I once was and it’s weird. When did I get old? I mean I know almost 24 isn’t old.. I just mean when did I grow up? It’s just crazy to me how fast all this time after high school has gone. I can’t go back and it’s sad.  It’s not that I am not happy… I am but time isn’t slowing down and unlike some of my other friends I love life… I want to enjoy it all but I feel like I repeat the same cycle everyday and it’s not a bad cycle it’s just the same.

I have held onto so much hatred and anger towards people for so long and I just wish I can do MYSELF a favor and let it go slowly… Move on.. I am so tired of being surrounded by so many negative people. People that don’t have a thirst for life, people that give up, or people that just tear others down. I am not innocent I have judged others and shit talked and done my fair share of gossip but I just want to try to be a better me. The older I get the more I realize people are who they are. I respect people that know who they are and are comfortable with that. Why was I wasting soooo much time bagging on them just because I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted out of life? Shame on me..

I want to be around happy people.. good friends.. the friends that want to get to know me for me, not the people that are only there for the good times, the ones who I can complain to and who can just listen to me whine and then tell me to shut up haha. The sad part is aside from Brandon I don’t really think I have that type of friend anymore. Most of the people I am around only want to talk about themselves, which is fine but sometimes I need to confide in someone.

I have taken so much effort pushing people away for their own good and it’s hard because I care about them, but it’s for the best in the end.

I really just want to be known as a kind person and a good friend. I try really hard to put others first and I just want to be better. I want to have a better attitude and to stick to what I believe in and have good morals.

I hope I can live up to all these things and hopefully more positive will come into my life.

Task # 30…A picture of someone you miss…

Task #29 …A picture that can always make me smile…

This is Tara my drunken alter ego. haha I always smile lookin at old Saturday pics, especially ones with Brandon. There has been soooo many good times together

Task #28 A picture of something you’re afraid of…

My biggest fear has always been losing another family member I love so much. I have lost my Dad and lots of other family members and it scares the crap out of me. I know it is out of my control and in Gods hands but I am not sure I can stomach it again anytime soon.